Drunk and Somewhat Disorderly Conduct

Well no wonder Trix didn't answer on Friday night when I called to get her expert advice while looking for cool places to hang out since we are so out of practice. Apparently, she was already getting her party on. No problem, turns out it was like riding a tricycle.

Mister and I decided to start our weekend festivities with a bang as well and went on a bar hopping spree in search of the best fresh mint mojito and ended up searching for a coffee martini reasonably similar to the ones Trix makes.

We started at Maggie Rita's, then migrated to Fox Sports Bar, Kona Grill (very briefly), TMC, Capitol Grille, Maggie Rita's again, and back to TMC.

Mister actually arrived at Maggie Rita's first and had a beer while he waited for me to excuse myself from the office. When I arrived, he was sitting outside with a disgusted look on his face and let me know that inside, the place smelled like caca - also known as the slimewater found in the trays that catch overfills under the grates behind the bar. So, we left -- under much protest from me -- on the motorcycle without helmets. Well, we were only going up the block a bit...

Fox Sports Bar had really good fresh mint mojitos, but the service -- even sitting AT the bar -- was ridiculously slow. The waitstaff was scurrying around all over the place, and the happy hour crowd wasn't yet, so I'm not sure exactly what they were scurrying to do. Surely we're not THAT scary looking?

We more or less ran through Kona Grill due to the extensive wait for bar seating which we were too impatient to deal with. We cruised across Westheimer and considered stopping in at Grand Luxe, Canyon Cafe, Arcodoro, and Morton's, then reluctantly decided to revisit our old former favorite haunt, TMC, for the less obvious reasons... potent, yet reasonably priced drinks (during happy hour, that is), comfortable seating, VIP treatment, great food, and the absolute best selection in music. Yeah, they have half-naked chics dancing there too. Big deal.

Well, they did not disappoint. TMC is indeed where I found the best fresh mint mojito, and during the return visit later in the evening, also the best replica of Trix' Coffee Martinis -- complete with "turds," upon requesting them.

Once happy hour ended at TMC, we decided to go to Capitol Grille and see if an old friend was still bartending there. He is, and that was fun, but expensive. He gave the coffee martinis a good try -- but his were espresso martinis, which were just a little too bitter for my tastes. That place is such a man-cave, with all the dark wood and animal heads everywhere. I think they just threw in a few moderately feminine touches here and there to try to make it tolerable for women to be in there. Success in that pursuit is debatable. Flemings is much more palatable in my opinion. But we weren't there for the decor or to eat, just to see an old friend and have a drink or too. Not sure he was so happy to see us, but then, we were friends also with his ex, so we could have been spies. Right...

So back to Maggie Rita's we go, because that is where we left the truck when we went cruising around on the motorcycle with no helmets, allegedly for only a couple of blocks. At this point, we probably should have taken our marbles and gone home, but our evil twins had already been released apparently, and insisted that we go inside to see if it was still stinky, or if people actually hung out there in spite of the smell. It didn't stink anymore, so we decided we had to do the coffee martini trial. (The mojito question had already been resolved. TMC, hands down.)

I tried explaining the coffee martini recipe to them, but they ended up making me something that involved Kahlua, Vodka, and Tuaca. Kinda tasty, but definitely too strong and probably eligible for "bimbo" drink category (you know, the get-me-so-drunk-i-don't-care-who-i-screw- tonite drinks). Had to have a second one, just to be sure. Yep, it's a bimbo drink. My evil twin says so. Rumor (at the bar) has it that the bar at Maggie Rita's, formerly Sage, formerly Houlighans, is a gathering place for swingers looking to swap or pick up a third. Can't vouch for that, all I saw was mostly a sausage party. Surely they didn't mean gay swingers? Not that I have any objection to gay swingers, just figured they would be hanging out on the lower end of Westheimer. Come to think of it, I would rather have been hanging out in that vicinity. Wonder if NUMB3RS is still open? LOL.

After enduring the boredom of about an hour long empassioned political discussion between Mister and a random African American man, my evil twin and I announced we were taking my happy ass back to TMC where the entertainment, naked ladies aside, is more to my liking. Mister was smart enough to follow.

So back at the TMC VIP bar, the nightshift bartender, an old acquaintance, got the coffee martini recipe right, and as I mentioned earlier, even managed to find the turds to put in them for me. She was drinking them with me shortly afterward. Not sure what I was thinking when I decided to stay there for another hour talking to an old barhound we know from way back, after Mister gave up and went home, when we had a flight to catch the next morning. Oh that's right. I wasn't thinking..."she" was.